Dating Wisdom from Two Married Ladies

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This is my first blog with a co-writer.  But, I couldn’t (and wouldn’t) have have done this one without her.  Many thanks to my dear friend and my partner-in-crime.  Enjoy!  

Singleness is wasted on single people.  This is a constant refrain between me and my married lady friends.  When we look back on our younger days, the missteps and missed opportunities are abundantly clear.  We over thought things, we were too afraid, we expected too much.  Now that we are well entrenched in our “happily ever after,” we have a few things to share with the ladies to make the world of heterosexual dating just a little easier.

1. Men are so much easier than you think they are.  They rarely have an agenda.  They often aren’t thinking deep thoughts.  Just go up to them and say, “Hi.”  You’d be amazed at who you’ll meet if you just make the first move.  You don’t need a witty come on or a fancy line, just “hi” will do.  What do you have to lose?

2. A bad date can be a lifetime of good stories.  You need to kiss some frogs to find your prince, so you might as well make a good story about it.  Don’t be afraid of the guy who passed out at the restaurant, or the dude who didn’t get sarcasm, or the man with all the cat pictures.  File away all of those stories for the next time you need a good laugh and enjoy the madness of it all.

3. There’s no shame in a one nighter.  Every man you meet doesn’t have to be Mr. Right, and it’s okay for a few of them to be Mr. Right Now.  Dating can be a chore, and you can put a lot of pressure on yourself.  But, dating should be fun most of the time.  It’s okay to take the pressure off here and there and not worry about whether the guy is going to be the father of your children or not.

4.  When you fall in love, don’t have any regrets. Don’t allow yourself the opportunity to say  “right guy, wrong time.  When he shows up, go for it.  Don’t be afraid of “what ifs” and “maybes”.  Go all in.

5.   Men can smell desperation.  He will know when your head isn’t right.  Take care of yourself because, at the end of the day, no one is going to take care of you.  You want a life partner not a caretaker.  Men know when they’re on an interview, and when they’re meeting a person who just wants to enjoy their company.  Just enjoy his company and let your hair down.

6. He’s not thinking about it as much as you.  Like Freud says, “sometimes a banana is just a banana.”  When he say he’s busy, he might just be busy.  When he say he needs space, he might just need space.  When he say he likes you, he might just like you.  When you ask what he’s thinking, and he says, “nothing,”  he’s probably, shockingly, actual thinking nothing.  Don’t try to read into things.

7. Love someone, and want someone, but never need someone.

8. It only takes one. There’s a top for every pot, there’s a pot for every top.  Don’t settle for something that’s almost right.  Wait for the perfect fit.  He’ll come along.

9.  You never know when you”ll fall in love, so live every day as if you’re finding the one, tomorrow.  No one’s going to warn you three months before you meet the one, so that you can get it all out of your system.  Live your life for every single day so that you are ready when he is.  Be happy every day, have fun, live a full life.  Embrace new opportunities as they come your way.  There will be a day when everything falls into place, and it will sneak up on you.  Be ready for it.

10.  Someday you’ll be sitting at home with your girlfriend on a saturday night drinking a bottle of wine and caring for four kids and blogging about dating.  Enjoy being single while it lasts, it won’t be forever.

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